I'll be unleashing my stockpile of grumbles in a blog every day. Or whenever the hell I'm in the mood. I call my grumbles A GAGGLE OF GROUSES -- a cantankerous collection of grouchy observations. And now let's cut the crap and get right into the stuff that makes me want to punch a puppy.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
JUST FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS
Despite what the idiot manufacturers tell you, I've never assembled anything that was a snap to put together. In fact, you're better off just guessing where things go and burning the instructions.
When looking for people to write these so-called simple instructions, do they hire high school dropouts who have never written a coherent sentence and wouldn't recognize a lucid thought if it spit in their eye?
Is the whole thing a put-on, a prank, a joke on all of us? And why is one damn bolt, screw, or washer always missing?
I don't care how simple your widget is. By the time you wrestle with the barrage of meaningless jargon, the faulty syntax, and the phrases that lead nowhere ... your brain will be a useless lump of guacamole.
@#$%*@
IF YOU LIKE THE WRITING, SPREAD THE WORDS.
And here I thought this site was under new management! (Nicely done, Milt. Very funny.) --Howard
ReplyDeleteIt's probably the Chinese-English translation issue again... I would stick to IKEA. They're Swedish, so their instructions are all pretty drawings and no words. Just remember not to look at the pictures upside down, because this could yield some unexpected results.
ReplyDelete