MY FALL-BACK POSITION

I'm having trouble letting go of Daylight Saving Time. I can't help clinging to those long summer evenings that last until almost 9 at night. And who in their right mind could blame me.

The truth is, I don't like falling back, I like springing ahead. In fact, given the power, I would dump Standard Time and stick with Daylight Saving Time all year long. Don't just shrug your shoulders, think about it!

Our fall replacement, Standard Time, tries to justify itself by giving you one more hour of light in the morning. Big whoop!

According to my biased research, Ben Franklin introduced Daylight Saving Time way back in 1784. Now you have to admit, Ben had a lot of good ideas. This particular one floated around until World War 2, when Congress finally figured out that a fuel shortage could be offset by delaying darkness and adding another hour of natural light.

During the early rounds of negotiation, Congress argued that losing that hour of morning light would make it harder for people to wake up. Old Ben countered that we could ring church bells early every morning. And if that didn't work, we could fire off some cannons.

My additional research revealed that Daylight Saving Time is a big saver of energy – about 10,000 barrels of oil a day. Now I did look this up on the internet so it could be off by a few thousand barrels. But even so, I think a solid case is being built here.

Standard Time, also an act of Congress, was unleashed on this country in 1917 when we were too busy fighting the Germans to realize what was going on. Besides, it was no big deal when alarm clocks and pocket watches were all we had to mess with.

But today we've got all kinds of timepieces: wrist watches, car clocks, answering machines, coffee makers, oven timers, microwaves, DVD'S. And just be glad you're not the manager of a store like Tourneau Corner or Swatch Watches.

As for that extra hour of sleep, you can kiss that goodbye when you start changing 15 or 20 timing devices, depending on how techie you are.

It's bad enough we have to live with 8 time-zone changes. Let's at least get rid of one mindless chore we can all do without.

Now I'm not advocating a march on Washington, sending letters to your congressmen, or camping out on the White House lawn with signs that read: “SPRING AHEAD YES, FALL BACK NO!”

I'm just trying to rile you up and make you realize how your life is being manipulated and made needlessly complicated by creeps in Washington.

I'm betting you have better things to do than changing all those damn time pieces twice a year just because Congress, in their infinite wisdom, thinks it's a neat idea.

SPRING AHEAD is my story and I'm sticking with it. And I'm sure if Ben Franklin was still around, he'd back me up.

@#$%&@