Saturday, December 3, 2011


Nobody is more serious about shopping than women.

But now it's become a blood sport. I'm talking about no mercy, take no prisoners style of shopping. During a Black Friday shopping spree, some woman at a California Wal-Mart diminished the competition by pepper spraying her fellow shoppers.

Her assumption must have been that any woman who's coughing her guts out and blinded by the tears gushing from her eyes will be less inclined to shove her into a wall or elbow her in the ribs on the way to a 50% OFF SALE on bath towels.

Excitement generated by shoes and jewelry I can understand. I mean I do live and breathe, and I have watched numerous episodes of “Sex and the City.” But getting an adrenaline rush over stuff like sweaters, scarves, jeans and blouses still baffles me.

At stores in Ohio and Michigan, women shoved, threatened, screamed, and exchanged punches with other women over items like discounted sheets and pillow cases.

A marketing expert recently noted that once a woman decides she's in the mood to buy something, decorum is temporarily put on hold.

Every year at Filene's Basement, a clothing store in New York City, they have great deals on wedding dresses. The event is called, “The Running of the Brides.” It's something like “The Running of the Bulls” in Pamplona. Except you're slightly safer on the streets of Spain than in the basement where a major sale is taking place.

When an $8,000 wedding dress is selling for $400, terrible atrocities are committed by soon-to-be blushing brides. Some trampling, salty language, and a healthy dose of foul play is bound to occur when the doors are opened at 8 in the morning and the women are finally released.

While there are many wonderful things you can do with women, shopping with them during a sale isn't one of them.