FED UP

Women are always asking men if they've eaten.

It doesn't matter if they've known the guy for a month or a decade. They're going to ask. Do they think we forget if we're not reminded?

"Come to think of it, I haven't had a bite in a week. Good thing you said something, honey."

Men will never ask a woman if she's eaten. Either we don't give a crap, or we assume she's bright enough to figure it out for herself.

And a woman's curiosity about a man's eating patterns knows no limits.

After she learns whether you've eaten, what you ate, where you ate, whom you ate with, and exactly what you discussed while you were eating-- she may inquire how your food was prepared. It wasn't fried, was it?

Some will even ask if you took all your vitamins. Or pills, if you happen to fall into the senior category.

You could be 90 years old, and your wife or girlfriend will still want a complete dossier on your ridiculous eating habits.

And if she doesn't think your meals were balanced or organic, or don't contain enough fiber, fish oils, antioxidants, leafy greens, or whatever the hell else the current health trends are -- you could be scolded and sent to your room.

@#$%*@