GOING POSTAL

It's been a while since postal workers have gone nuts and shot a bunch of people. But since "going postal" has become part of our language, I'm sure they'll be on the 6 o'clock news before the next freaking hike in postage.

A few years ago, I wrote a bumper sticker that sold in the thousands: BACK OFF, I'M A POSTAL WORKER. The question is, why had postal workers become such a menace?

Some claim they're disgruntled, that they don't like making their appointed rounds in rain and sleet and snow and whatever other meteorological conditions it spells out in their silly fucking motto.

In case you'd forgotten, here are a few headlines ripped from the front pages of your favorite tabloids: POSTAL WORKER KILLS HIS BOSS! POSTAL WORKER GOES BERSERK IN GROCERY STORE! POSTAL WORKER KILLS 4 DURING HOLDUP!

Nobody knows why pandemonium and postal workers have such a strong connection.

But I have a theory on how it all got started. About 10 years ago, while waiting in a long and typical line at the post office, I saw a sign that smacked of paranoia, and may have set the stage for what was to come.

WARNING! IT'S A FEDERAL OFFENSE TO ATTACK A POSTAL WORKER!

@#$%*@