THE CASE AGAINST BULLSHIT

Nobody is claiming that BULLSHIT as an expletive, or utterance of contempt, is lacking in its power to satisfy the one hurling the time-honored profanity.

It's a perfectly fine word and fills the bill for anyone who gets slightly enraged when somebody says something that is clearly false, misleading or tries to pass off some bogus crap as the genuine article.

“BULLSHIT!” you say, and pretty much so does everyone else who is not heading to a monastery to take a vow of silence.

Let's try to break it down. “BULL” means nonsense and dates back to the 17th century. “SHIT” is self-explanatory and probably goes back to the caveman and his early attempts to express revulsion to his crude neighbors.

The evolution of this word probably went something like this.

SHH, SHA, SHU, SHO, SHEE, SHIT!

T.S. Eliot, the poet – in case you think he's a starting pitcher for the Yankees – wrote a poem sometime between 1910 and 1916 that never got published called “The Triumph of Bullshit.”

I guess the poetry lovers back then weren't ready for a poet held in high esteem to launch a potty-mouth tirade.

The point is, BULLSHIT has been around for a long time.

But now it's time for a change, something new and fresh and satisfying to blurt out during times of stress and agitation. The problem is, replacing BULLSHIT won't be easy.

HORSESHIT has been used successfully by some. Still it is no BULLSHIT.

MOOSESHIT … GATORSHIT … RHINOSHIT. All big enough, but somehow none of them carries the weight and gravitas of BULLSHIT.

I will continue to try and come up with an alternative. But if anyone out there has a suitable replacement for BULLSHIT, now is your chance to make a name for yourself.

@#$%&@