PACKAGES THAT DEFY OPENING

I remember years ago when you could just open a plastic package and easily get whatever was inside. It was never a test of muscle or wits. But sadly, those days are over.

Now when you encounter your package, you better put on your game face and prepare for battle.

I'm not talking about ripping something apart with your bare hands. That would be a slight challenge and perfectly acceptable. I'm talking warfare, no holds barred, by whatever means necessary.

I have met some defiant packages lately that have forced me to attack them with scissors, pliers, a butcher knife, a razor blade, and my teeth.

I guess the worst are those clamshell packages that house stuff like cordless phones, popular dolls, toys, light bulbs, electric toothbrushes, radios, tools, and flashlights.

"To open," the directions should read, "simply use a chainsaw in an orderly manner until your product can be safely retrieved." I know one guy who ended up with ten stitches and a bloody flashlight.

Then there's the problem of returning a package to the store when it looks like it's been attacked by a Rottweiler.

@#$%*@
SHARE THIS WITH ANYONE WHO'S EVER GOTTEN A PACKAGE.