THOSE BATHROOM PHONE CALLS

It seems like I'm always in the bathroom when the phone rings. It never rang during those 3 hours when I wasn't in the bathroom. But now that I'm in the bathroom relaxing, it rings off the hook.

Of course, it stops ringing the minute I run out to pick it up. Hello! Hello! I sometimes wonder if the “bathroom phone show” is being videotaped and will appear later in the day on Letterman.

I've been working on ways to improve my chances of getting those missed phone calls. Here's my latest. Step into the bathroom, slam the door, turn on the faucet, and flush the toilet. This should trick the phone into ringing. When it does, make a mad dash for it.

For added reality, make sure you're naked.

@#$%*@