Monday, November 3, 2008
KEEPING MEN TIDY
Women are constantly grooming the men they care about. I suspect there is a female chromosome that's permanently assigned to male neatness.
If women aren't collecting thread from your shirt, jacket, or sweater—they're smoothing down your hair, brushing lint or dandruff off your shoulders, straightening your tie, or checking to see if your clothes come anywhere near matching.
Depending on how far this relationship has advanced, the woman might be insisting you pick your dirty clothes off the floor, stand tall and straighten your shoulders, no farting in front of friends or parents, and don't eat food while sitting on the couch and watching your stupid sports shows.
Why any man in his right mind would think he could get away with liquor on his breath or lipstick on his collar is beyond my ability to comprehend.
In this murky zone of tidiness and grooming, women are thousands of years more evolved than men. A disheveled friend of mine thinks the highest praise you can hear from a woman is:
"You're really neat for a guy—are you gay?"
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