Wednesday, September 10, 2008

MY LIFE AS A STAND-UP COMIC


To tell you the truth, I lied.

I had no life as a stand-up comic. But a few weeks ago one of my devoted fans suggested I try filling the gap left by Jerry Seinfeld.

I thanked him and then contemplated my life on stage in front of a fake brick wall in a room full of drunks.

The drunks wouldn't be so bad. With their short attention span, I could keep my material brief. And brevity, after all, is the soul of wit.

The bigger problem is staying up between midnight and two in the morning and remaining alert. I'm usually in bed at night by eleven or so, preceded by five minutes of yawning.

I might find it intimidating to stand naked (metaphorically speaking) in front of strangers and hope for booming laughter and raucous applause.

What if I forget my lines? I can't read from notes or write the bits on my palms. And there are no TelePrompTers in comedy clubs. How do these stand-up people do this night after night?

Unless someone out there can figure out a way to bypass the normal routes of discovery and fame, I think I'll just give up this crazy dream of mine.

But if you do come up with something, think along the lines of me having my own TV show on a major network.

@#$%*@

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2 comments:

CC said...

I've just started looking for humor blogs that are both fun and elegant, but they seem to be rare. At least I've found one. I'm putting you on my blogroll. When I get more than two readers, you'll hopefully get some visitors from me... CC

Neil (aka Uncle Neil [aka Man from Uncle]) said...

Milt, it's easy. I'll sit in the audience holding up cue cards (LARGE cue cards). That still leaves the problem of having to perform at hours during which I, like you, am usually sound asleep (or visiting the bathroom). --Howard