Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Who the hell in America decided that Christmas was Merry and the New Year should be Happy?
Was a damn holiday committee formed? What if the votes were in and it came out Happy Christmas and Merry New Year? Would we have accepted it blindly? Or would there be nagging doubts that something wasn't quite right?
"Hey, how are you doing?" Now here's a common greeting that could suggest you might not be doing well. Maybe you're just recovering from a broken ankle, an expensive divorce, or a bout with pneumonia. Why not make our greetings less open-ended and more positive?
"Hey man, you look great!" Or, "How do you keep looking so young? Is there an ugly picture of you in the attic?" This is a literary reference to The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, in case your reading skills are confined to the sports pages and the daily headlines.
And what about "Have a good weekend?"
Why not "Have an excellent weekend?" Why do we feel the need to rein in our weekend wishes? Maybe we just don't want people to have as nice a weekend as we have.
You have a good weekend. I'll have a spectacular, sensational, eye-popping, mind-boggling weekend!