Wednesday, September 24, 2008

JUST FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS


Despite what the idiot manufacturers tell you, I've never assembled anything that was a snap to put together. In fact, you're better off just guessing where things go and burning the instructions.


When looking for people to write these so-called simple instructions, do they hire high school dropouts who have never written a coherent sentence and wouldn't recognize a lucid thought if it spit in their eye?

Is the whole thing a put-on, a prank, a joke on all of us? And why is one damn bolt, screw, or washer always missing?

I don't care how simple your widget is. By the time you wrestle with the barrage of meaningless jargon, the faulty syntax, and the phrases that lead nowhere ... your brain will be a useless lump of guacamole.

@#$%*@

IF YOU LIKE THE WRITING, SPREAD THE WORDS.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

And here I thought this site was under new management! (Nicely done, Milt. Very funny.) --Howard

CC said...

It's probably the Chinese-English translation issue again... I would stick to IKEA. They're Swedish, so their instructions are all pretty drawings and no words. Just remember not to look at the pictures upside down, because this could yield some unexpected results.