JUST FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS

Despite what the idiot manufacturers tell you, I've never assembled anything that was a snap to put together. In fact, you're better off just guessing where things go and burning the instructions.

When looking for people to write these so-called simple instructions, do they hire high school dropouts who have never written a coherent sentence and wouldn't recognize a lucid thought if it spit in their eye?

Is the whole thing a put-on, a prank, a joke on all of us? And why is one damn bolt, screw, or washer always missing?

I don't care how simple your widget is. By the time you wrestle with the barrage of meaningless jargon, the faulty syntax, and the phrases that lead nowhere ... your brain will be a useless lump of guacamole.

@#$%*@

IF YOU LIKE THE WRITING, SPREAD THE WORDS.