TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORTER

People who write famous books write way too much and waste too many trees.

My advice would be to write what needs to be said and then shut the hell up. Authors, even the greatest ones, often fall in love with their own stunning revelations and blather on and on about them. Which reminds me.

How come the classics like Moby Dick and War and Peace are so tediously descriptive and long-winded?

Why the hell can't anybody ever write a damn classic in a hundred pages or less? You'd think if somebody was a brilliant novelist and original thinker, it wouldn't take so long to get the freaking point across.

It's my feeling--and you may disagree if you want to piss me off--that if these writers weren't so narcissistic and verbose, a lot more of us would actually read these epics instead of keeping them on our bookshelves for show.

@#$%*@

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