Sunday, December 7, 2008
COVER THOSE ELBOWS
People over 60 shouldn't be allowed to show their elbows in public.
Yes, it may be harsh and judgmental. But listen to the rationale behind this discriminatory wrangle.
Is there an uglier part of the mature adult than the thoughtlessly exposed elbow? All puckered and wrinkled and brownish, it makes you want to avert your eyes, as from a car wreck on a major highway.
The average elbow is not a pretty sight even in its thirties and forties. But by the time it reaches sixty, it's the Quasimodo of the body.
I'm proposing that elbow shields should be made mandatory on your sixtieth birthday. That's right, make it a law. And I'm quite sure that whoever heads up the "Beautifying of America" Committee will agree with my seemingly ruthless edict.
WARNING: ALL 60-YEAR-OLDS NOT WEARING THEIR ELBOW SHIELDS WHILE WEARING A SHORT-SLEEVE SHIRT WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A FINE OF $1,000 OR TWO WEEKS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE.
FORWARD THIS POST TO FRIENDS OVER FORTY.