Monday, May 26, 2008

CELL PHONE CRAZIES


"I'm at the corner of 36th and Third Avenue. (2 minutes later) Now I'm at 34th and Third."

This is a phone conversation I overheard in Manhattan between a young man in his mid 20s and somebody on the other end who either needs constant reassuring or thinks his caller is a mental case. Does anyone really need to know your freaking location every 2 minutes? For some screwballs, the answer is apparently yes.

Martin Cooper, who started working for Motorola in 1954, is generally given credit for inventing the cell phone, a real clunky model back then. He worked on the first portable hand-held police radio, and was the first one to make a phone call using a cell phone.

But you can bet your ass Mr. Cooper didn't call friends or cops to announce his whereabouts every few minutes.

As most people know, cell phones give off radiation. And although nothing has been proven yet, it is suspected that these little buggers can contribute to such health concerns as cancer, seizures, and changes in brain activity.

The part about changes in brain activity might explain some other aberrant behavioral patterns I've noticed about cell phone users.

They like to speak in public places in booming voices while disclosing personal information that they should keep to themselves rather than sharing with me.

"Oh please, Edna … my husband the skunk has been having an affair with Lydia the skank for years."

@#$%*@

4 comments:

Neil (aka Uncle Neil [aka Man from Uncle]) said...

Mr. Thistle,

Maybe they're doing a commercial for whichever cell phone company's tag line is "Can you hear me now?"

Anonymous said...

Mister Thistle,

It may have something to do with people slowly turning into Cyborg.....

daylia-d'vora said...

mr thistle,
the skunk and the skank couldn't make it cuz his penis had shrunk
and needed enhancements.
whoops that's the last angry mr thistle rant

soo much useless info out there...

and you are great, mr thistle
continue with your angry rants. your wit and style keep us going.

by the way call me on my cell, i'm coming into the house..now i'm opening the door....now i'm in the house g'bye
great rants
^%$#$#@
daylia

CopyKatGirl said...

Don't forget about the cell phone crazies who CONSTANTLY talk and drive...now they're an entertaining bunch! Wondering why the person in front of you cut you off or just turned without signaling, nearly causing an accident? DUH! You can't use your signal AND hold your phone and talk! People need to have priorities! My priority? Getting to and from work without rear-ending their ass! Too bad insurance rates are so high or I would be truly tempted to give them a little "turn your friggin' phone off" love tap!