Thursday, May 29, 2008
INDIANA JONES AND THE SENIOR DISCOUNT
Danny Glover had it right in Lethal Weapon when he said, "I'm getting too old for this shit!" It just might be time for Indiana to consider Danny's fecal wisdom.
Now I'm fully aware that "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" – starring Harrison Ford and produced and directed by 2 other guys in their 60s -- was a box office smash, selling over $150 million worth of tickets in 5 days.
But Indy, now 65 years old, had 19 years to rest up and get ready for those death-defying stunts and months of emotional explosions.
In another 19 years (if film history is any indication) the next Indiana Jones movie will be released. Harrison will be 84. And I doubt that Lucas and Spielberg will still be up for a daily barrage of widespread pandemonium.
Besides, there's something terribly inappropriate for an 84-year-old to be leaping and fighting and dodging avalanching boulders while murderous evildoers are bent on crushing him into dust before the 2-hour film has run its frenzied course.
This kind of ordeal can be taxing on a man who's already been receiving AARP Magazine for the last 15 years. Indy, it's time to hand in you bullwhip. Better yet, use it to snap the heads off those damn daisies on your lawn.